Cara

Heartbreaks and 808's...

If you were like me and most black women in their late 20s early 30s, then last week you tuned in to Being Mary Jane on B.E.T. This particular show spoke to my inner being sooo much because I could totally relate. Mary Jane is a successful woman that just hasn't found success in her relationships with the opposite sex. I have witnessed several of my friends in horrible relationships; and I have also witnessed those same friends share vows with the man they'd spend forever with. And then, there's me...I swear I am like the only single friend AKA odd man out. At the age of 31 I wonder if it'll ever be my turn; at least a healthy relationship (where both parties are on the same page). At this age I'm not sure if heartbreak was worse in my 20s or my 30s. I'm leaning towards the latter age because you know that in your 20s you know its game time, but it becomes a sickening feeling when you encounter someone in their 30s, looks good on paper but is emotionally selfish and unavailable. I guess the expectation for love and commitment in your 30s is what takes precedence. You've reached the age where hopefully you know what you like and dislike, worked on your previous issues from previous relationships, and you're looking forward to meeting someone that you're compatible with to actually take it to the next level (I mean who really wants to be lonely). If you all recall last year I joined a dating site after Uncle Rukus and I broke up, and it was entertaining to say the least but 'the getting to know you' phase is the absolute worse for me. All of the dating BS makes me wonder if its really worth it, as much as I love love, a part of me wants to give up on it. But to me love is like air or water, you need it to survive. I'd rather be selfish with other parts of me than my emotions. I am very interested to see how the show Being Mary Jane turns out, based on the clips I seen she'll continue her rendezvous with the married man. As for me, I'll be living vicariously through some fictional character, immersed in a book or a sitcom, waiting until love finds me.

 

                                                                                                                       

  

 

 

 

 

 

June Was Official

Once again, I thought I would have posted more during the month of June but as you can see that didn't happen. Let's just say June was official, sooo many events, birthdays (Happy Birthday to my lil brother Rhian), and sooo many outfits. Since I wasn't a 'good blogger' and posted as everything occurred I'd like to share that with you now. If you are following me on IG (akakristin), you may have already seen what's taken place this month with me, if not, now's your time to follow.

Tried to do a squat challenge and did a purple liner

Ended up having to sue my former landlord and got my car towed for the 2nd time

 

 

I totally LOVE Pink & Green

 

Taste of Reston

 

Chilling at Chrysalis Winery

 

 

I'm definitely looking forward to July and I promise my pics won't solely be from my iPhone (not sure why they came out this way.



A Great Day...

Today I celebrated my 31st Birthday and although I didn't make any plans (except a massage) it turned out well. I am beyond blessed and happy to see another year of life. Thanks to everyone for all of the Birthday wishes and positive energy; I really appreciate it.

I'm Not Me...

WARNING

This is yet another rant post, but I'll guarantee you it'll be my last for the month of June *fingers crossed*. Sooo much has transpired between the last weeks of April until now. I don't even know if stress is an accurate word to describe it, trust and believe and am having a woe-is-me-moment. Honestly, I am not used to constantly being 'Debbie the Downer', I have to admit; I am not myself. Getting laid off, having to scramble to find somewhere to live after basically being rejected by family has been a huge blow to my confidence and although it may not look like that on FB/Instagram those who know me personally can attest to this. Take today for instance, I found out I got a job. Here's the catch, it wasn't the actual job I applied for and it isn't full time; now I know there are people that don't have jobs but I totally lost it. Instead of being happy, basking in the moment, I was hurt. Once again, it felt like rejection. I remember the old me being fearless, more positive, and seeing the glass half-full. Funny thing is, I'm that person towards others, but this season of uncertainness has made me become my own worse enemy. Once again, I am not me. I have always been a worry rat, but my behavior now is that to the third power.

I know that things can change in an instant, I just need to have mustard seed faith that things will work out in my favor and I'll be back to me again. Thanks for listening to yet another rant :-)

JuneBug

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My favorite month is here!!! After taking a brief sabbatical, I was originally going to write about what has taken place since my last post (I'll do that later this week). However, this is my mf month. This is my birthday month, its when flowers have bloomed and its when you start dreaming of beaches and tasting salt water. Now I don't know about vacations since my life hasn't yet made a 360 in another direction, but I do plan to enjoy this month as much as I can and would like to make some sort of summer bucket list to navigate my way through. Any other readers born in the month of June and are team Gemini? Any summer vacations planned (so that I can live vicariously through you)? Any summer bucket list?

Ram In The Bush

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One of my grandmother's favorite saying's is 'God has a ram in the bush'. She has said this sooo many times, especially when I'm going through something tough, and to be honest that saying has ALWAYS been 100% true. There have been times when I've needed something and God has ALWAYS provided, not just provided within the situation, but provided through a person totally unrelated to the situation. There have been numerous accounts that I can list God having a ram in the bush, someone willing to step in and fill in the gap. This whole 'moving ordeal' has been yet another testament to the saying. People that I've recently met have helped me pack and even offered me to stay in their home for a month until I heard back from a job or just ultimately decided to move home. Those were very nice gestures, because trust me I NEVER thought I would be in the position that I'm in currently. I am not the type of person that asks for help unless I have absorbed all of my options and really, really need it. One of my 'new friends' made it very clear to me today by saying, 'God isn't going to come down and hand you things, but he does put people in your life to help you out'. That was exactly what I needed to hear. I have been feeling like I am in this alone and trust me, I know that I'm not. This week I am very grateful for all of the 'Ram's' that have come out of the 'bush' to listen to me rant, cry, and offer their assistance and kind words in return for nothing. I am totally appreciative!!! This whole experience has totally taught me that you NEVER know what you're going to grow through (that was not a typo) but my prayer is that I will also be a 'ram in the bush' for someone.

P.S- Thank you to all of you that read my blog and are praying on my behalf and sending positive energy my way, totally appreciate it.

Is This Goodbye?

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Today marks 3 months that I've been laid off and at this point I still don't have full-time employment. To make matters worse, my lease is up in a week; so I'm on the brink of being homeless (unless I go back home to Ga. then I'll just be jobless). Stress is not the word I'd use to describe my situation, there just has to be another word. My face is broken out and I have a fever blister (I can't remember the last time I had a fever blister). There are sooo many thoughts in my head, so many emotions of hurt, fear, and anger. I know that after all of this is said and done, I will have learned something. Sooo far I've learned that you NEVER know what life has in store for you. I never thought that I would have lost my job and have to ask friends/family if I could crash with them for a month or two (that's a true lesson in humility itself). I really hope its true that April showers bring May flowers, because April for me has been full of showers so to speak. At the end of the day, I know that things will eventually work out, whether its here in Va. or back in Ga.

Informal...

I still haven't found a full-time gig yet and it totally sucks. This is my last month of my lease and I have no plans... like none; no idea of where the contents of my apartment are going or where I'm going, super stressed. So the compliment that I received yesterday totally brightened up my day. I swear the most random things happen to me, or maybe they're just life's interventions. I did my normal routine at work, as I always do,  greet and assist customers. One 'customer' comes in and states that her hands are super dry and wanted to know if I could recommend something. I took her over to the awesome hand cream that we have and told her to try it out, she obliged and asked about fragrances. I  showed her a couple and mentioned that we have a fragrance that has a woodsy undertone that's really unisex. As she reaches for the perfume, I notice she has on a super cute watch. I compliment the watch and ask if its Kate Spade and she says yes again. She says, you all have a lot of products, it must have taken you forever to learn them. I let her know that I've been with the company for a year and I'm picking up more shifts since a recent layoff and that I just learned. Needless to say, I didn't make the sale, but I offered her a sample of the hand cream she tried earlier as well as the perfume. She takes the sample and thanks me for the service. I think nothing of it, a mental pat on the back, job well done Kristin (its the little things). About an hour later, the phone at my job rings and I answer it; guess who it is? The lady that I helped earlier with the hand cream. She asks me if I remember her (I really have an elephant's memory) and I state yes. This lady goes on to explain that she was the DM for a major cosmetic company and that she was really impressed by the service that I offered her and that they need people like that. She invited me out for a cup of coffee the next day with one of her managers to speak about future opportunities. I hung up the phone feeling totally shocked like what-just-happened.

Fast forward to today, my 1st day off, I get dressed to meet this manager and think this isn't a real interview, just an informal meeting; so what should I wear. Let me be the first to tell you that at my previous place of employment is was business casual minus the business portion. One of the reasons I didn't post OOTD pics was because I'd just roll out of bed and throw on the first tee and pair of clean jeans. So the assumption that business attire is in my closet is just that, an assumption. Plus, I didn't think that an informal meeting at Starbucks called for business 101 attire. Ok, I digress. I wanted to look presentable, but still trendy with a bit of eccentric flair; so I left the hoop in. I NEVER wear my stud nor my hoop on interviews, but this was...informal, right?  So much for being presentable, trendy, eccentric, or even wearing noticeable body jewelry; after waiting 15 minutes over the time we were supposed to meet I realized that today was just informal and left lol. No hard feelings, although I was a bit pissed for wasting my time; my company is a competitor to this company and I would never be able to work for the both of them.

At least all wasn't lost, I was able to meet up with a guy that I'd met earlier this week for a nice conversation and lunch.

I am smiling sooo hard in this pic

 

 



 

This Red Velvet made my day worth it