Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I'm Not Me...


This is yet another rant post, but I'll guarantee you it'll be my last for the month of June *fingers crossed*. Sooo much has transpired between the last weeks of April until now. I don't even know if stress is an accurate word to describe it, trust and believe and am having a woe-is-me-moment. Honestly, I am not used to constantly being 'Debbie the Downer', I have to admit; I am not myself. Getting laid off, having to scramble to find somewhere to live after basically being rejected by family has been a huge blow to my confidence and although it may not look like that on FB/Instagram those who know me personally can attest to this. Take today for instance, I found out I got a job. Here's the catch, it wasn't the actual job I applied for and it isn't full time; now I know there are people that don't have jobs but I totally lost it. Instead of being happy, basking in the moment, I was hurt. Once again, it felt like rejection. I remember the old me being fearless, more positive, and seeing the glass half-full. Funny thing is, I'm that person towards others, but this season of uncertainness has made me become my own worse enemy. Once again, I am not me. I have always been a worry rat, but my behavior now is that to the third power.

I know that things can change in an instant, I just need to have mustard seed faith that things will work out in my favor and I'll be back to me again. Thanks for listening to yet another rant :-)