Friday, June 13, 2008

Frustration Friday

So I haven't posted in a while because I've had sooo much frustration built up. I did manage to change my profile song to That Hump by Badu, because it describes exactly how I feel right now. Funny thing is, if I could get over that hump,  I'm sure another one would present itself in my life. But I guess humps and frustrations are a daily presence in our lives to serve as a reminder of how much we've grown, changed, and adapted to situations in our lives. So I decided to take this post and pour all of my frustration into it.

First and foremost the "JOB" situation has had my mind on lock down. Thing is, I had an interview yesterday and as soon as I got home they called with an offer, so I should be happy right? Well the job isn't all that, but I REFUSE to pay rent out of my dwindling savings. The things about jobs and the interview process is, it sucks!!! Its sucks that I applied for sooo many jobs and have just recently got call backs from companies, case in point, after I accepted the job someone else calls me today for a phone interview and to inquire about a time I can come in for a face to face interview. I guess it would help if I new exactly what I wanted to do in life. My dream job would include shopping for others and traveling all around doing it. As far as my frustration goes, is the interview process. You interview, do well, and get invited for a second interview, do well there, and... never hear back from the company. That really aggravates me because I've been on two specific interviews and also had second interviews as well, and during the interview I ASKED, will I hear back from you all whether positive or negative, here it is 4 weeks later no call, rejection letter, or anything.  I also sent a follow up letter and called.

My second frustration is location. I absolutely love my neighborhood (Wisteria Lane) but if I could move it to a more central location where there are bars, more shopping areas, BLACK people, a church I could grow in, a Dominican shop, and, did I mention BLACK people, I would be a lot happier!!!

Third, I miss my friends. Although I don't call and talk to them frequently I miss the hell out of all of them and value the short periods of time we spend together ( I know they ain't reading). I'm a people person, so I meet people all the time, but because I value friendship, I hold certain qualities very, very high. I'll have to do a post soon on friendship, well, "friends/acquaintances" I've had since being here. 

Fourth, is the dating scene, which ties back into LOCATION!!! It seems like most of the black guys I see always have white women, and the one's I see without them always have something white... a cigarette hanging out their mouth or in their hands!!! Not that I'm desperate to date, because I love doing me, but I'd rather be doing... well you get what I'm saying (Grandma if you're reading this, disregard that statement and don't print out this post for your friends). 

Fifth, what is going on with the order of A Different World, some nights its going in order and other nights you can tell an episode was skipped. I'm tuned in as if  this is a newly scheduled broadcast, when the order is skipped or BET chooses not to play an episode; I am at the highest level of pisstivity, since there are no reality shows to keep my attention. 

Last of my frustrations, are the directions I want my blog to go in. I know I haven't posted in a while, but I have been stalking everyone else's blog,  even though I only commented a few times. Its quite evident that  a few bloggers are shutting down their blogs or making it private, which saddens me because I really enjoy stalking some of you. Over my uneventful days, the idea of censorship has come up. My blog is open, and most of my friends and families read, but I think I've been censoring my my thoughts as well as my post content. As I look over my past post, I think some of you may know me, but mainly the one's that knew me before. I think that I've been a bit "surface level", and would like you to know ME and all the simple complexities of my world. So from now on, I'm gonna post exactly what's on my mind (that means I'll learn how to mobile blog... FINALLY).

While its on my mind, I want to put a couple of things on "The F-It" list. The F-It list is a list of things or people I can take off my mind and say F-It to!!! 

F-It List

1. Mr. Y- I released you and I allowed you to pass through only to make me realize, a leopard doesn't change it's spots!!!

Trust me this list will grow rapidly, before you know it.


Divine Blackness said...

You know what? You sound juuuuust like me when I was livin' in Los Angeles. No Black people, no social life, no church, no datin' life, uggghhh, it drove me up a well. Can't say that I got over it either.

Chiiiile, and Lord knows I feel where you're comin' from on the job-tip.

And pleeeease get out of here!!! A Different World coming in different orders is killing my life!!! I've seen Dwayne and Whitley's wedding twice in 3 weeks already. What in sam hell is goin' on, BET?

Yesss, a lot of bloggers are definitely going private. I thought about it for a minute (for the sake of my government job) but I decided against it. I hate CENSORING myself in my personal blog and sometimes I feel like I do. But I really don't give a shit anymore.

'Scuse my language...ha!! Have a wonderful weekend.

Anonymous said...

I feel you on the blog tip. I censor only when I'm feeling reclusive...then open it back up to the world. I notice that some others have been doing the same too.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

good never give up refuse to and dont quit

Anonymous said...

Hi FRIEND! Trust that I read your post, although I may not respond to them you stay on my mind and in my prayers. Never give which I know you won't but know that trials come only to make you strong. Stay encouraged and know that we miss the hell out of your crazy behind too. See you in a few weeks, love ya Arica.

Pam said...

Girl, be yourself and do you. Don't censor yourself, be real to you and your avid readers. Life is too short to be phony or be worried about exposing yourself. Life is always what you make it, live it with no regrets(advice from my dad-RIP). Love the F-it List, we all need one.

LadyWritesTheBlues said...

Hang in there!!!! Yeah and I hate that some of my fav blogs are now private or gone all together! Sucks.

Montreal Thomas said...

Hey, Mama...You've been on my mind ALOT!!!...Hope to see you soon. Release that frustration.

Love ya...