Saturday, June 2, 2012

30 Days Til 30- Family




I wanted to start this mini series off with family because that's where I got my start...literally.  I am the oldest of 4 (that being a combination from my mom and dad), I am also the oldest grandchild on both sides (although on one side this fact is not recognized). I think that I've stated before that I grew up with my grandparents. During my childhood I never knew that was different or had any different feelings towards it. I had other friends who grew up with their grandparents as well and it was just that... life. It wasn't until I was older that I realized people actually stayed with their mom and dad, and to me I had that, a two-parent household. I had a grandmother who assisted with the 'mother' role and I had a grandfather that went above and beyond to be a father to me. I will say that my situation was unique. There wasn't a single issue for me staying with my grandparents besides the fact that I wanted to live there. I also lived with my mom for about 3-4 years and something eventually happened that set in stone for me that it was better for me to stay with my grandparents. When I think of the realm  of grandparents I get happy and a bit sad. I had a great experience not only with my grandparents but also with my great-grandparents.

Family is sooo important to me. I think that's why returning home to visit is ALWAYS a bitter sweet experience. I had sooo much loving family around me and it just seemed like since 2005 things changed. I lost a grandparent, great-grandparent, and my mother. I was used to my grandmother's house being the mecca for my family. We'd all get together and sit out on the porch (yes I am a country girl), my folks even jokingly name themselves the porch committee. We'd sit out there and talk, eat, tell jokes, etc. I miss that sooo much. If I had one wish it would be to go back in time to one of those exact moments  and chill out with all of my family, in one place.

I am sooo lucky to have the family that I had/have. I mean everyone pitches in for the greater good. I remember going to college and my cousin and aunt drove me cause my mom had a new job. I also remember one of my aunt's paying my cell phone bill and another having me groceries waiting every time I got home.

Sooo much of whom I refer to as my family happens to be my mother's side but I do have a relationship with my father and his immediate family. Unfortunately, the relationship with his entire family is non-existent to me, has been and may always be. Anyways, the relationship with my daddy actually begin my freshman year in college; let me just tell you it was a long and rocky road. But today I can honestly say that I value the relationship we have and somewhere in the mix we've also developed a friendship. I never would have thought that I'd have this good of a relationship with him. Our relationship is a true testament of God working behind the scene's so that you can receive everything at the exact time when you need it. I can't talk about my daddy and not talk about my step-mom. We have always had a GREAT relationship, always. I could always talk to her about ANYTHING and she never tried replace my mother when my mother was alive nor after she died. If I marry/date a man with kids I'd want to be exactly like her and foster the same relationship with them as she did with me. We have had countless conversations about life; ranging from guys, food, God, and even the deep stuff about my dad not always being around. When my granddaddy and mom died she was the person who gave me money because she wanted to make sure that I looked nice for the home going service. She is an amazing woman, mother and wife.

If you met me in Virginia, the family that I refer to is Pam nem. This relationship actually developed after my mom died. I was told by one of my great aunts that I had a cousin in Ga. I went to meet her and we instantly hit it off. Not only are we family we are also friends. I think I've stated before she is the big sister/mother figure in my life as well.

There are also people that are not directly related to me that I would consider family. These are people that have stood beside me through hell and high water.  For everyone that I consider family, I am thankful and greatful to have you.

2 comments:

♫Quiet Storm♫ said...

Loved this post Kristen. My family is highly dysfunctional (smh), but I love them too:-)!!!
P.S. Please post another youtube vid soon!!!!

Pam said...

Well, I am family. You are stuck with me. So glad you came into my life. I love you dearly for so many reasons. I also love that you get me! Happy we found each other!