Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I'm Not Me...

WARNING

This is yet another rant post, but I'll guarantee you it'll be my last for the month of June *fingers crossed*. Sooo much has transpired between the last weeks of April until now. I don't even know if stress is an accurate word to describe it, trust and believe and am having a woe-is-me-moment. Honestly, I am not used to constantly being 'Debbie the Downer', I have to admit; I am not myself. Getting laid off, having to scramble to find somewhere to live after basically being rejected by family has been a huge blow to my confidence and although it may not look like that on FB/Instagram those who know me personally can attest to this. Take today for instance, I found out I got a job. Here's the catch, it wasn't the actual job I applied for and it isn't full time; now I know there are people that don't have jobs but I totally lost it. Instead of being happy, basking in the moment, I was hurt. Once again, it felt like rejection. I remember the old me being fearless, more positive, and seeing the glass half-full. Funny thing is, I'm that person towards others, but this season of uncertainness has made me become my own worse enemy. Once again, I am not me. I have always been a worry rat, but my behavior now is that to the third power.

I know that things can change in an instant, I just need to have mustard seed faith that things will work out in my favor and I'll be back to me again. Thanks for listening to yet another rant :-)

3 comments:

Carla said...

Trust me, I've been there. I've felt like you've felt before when it comes to your job situation. It's exactly how I felt a few weeks ago, but like you said, in an instant that all changed. I realized why I received rejection emails for being "too qualified" or not receiving any type of response at all. Keep your faith. Pray as hard as you can. Things will improve.

mickybelle said...

It sounds like you already know the truth - that things can and will change in an instant. I just know you're going to have an awesome testimony after going thru this test.

vnhackett said...

Hey Soror, What is your career background?