Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Blessed Assurance

I'll be the first to tell you that I not only analyze situations, I over analyze them. This morning I began to over analyze the situation at the 40. If you know me personally, or if you've watched my videos; you know that I am not happy in my current situation. Although I'm using the word analyze, the bible would probably see this as worrying. Actually, worrying is exactly what I was doing. As soon as I felt it, I knew what I had to do. I immediately began to look through my devotionals and read a few scriptures to ease my mind. Shortly afterwards I felt a bit at ease.

One of my stressors was that I'd received an e-mail from a University about an upcoming Federal Government job fair. My excitement was short lived when I noticed that you had to be a current student or Alumni. Nonetheless I decided to e-mail the school to see if I'd be able to attend. Honestly, I was thinking the worse ( I know, more positive thoughts). After about 30 minutes, I had a response which was simply, if I had an account I could register. I still had a student ID but I didn't have the password. I let them know and they sent me a password. Just like that I was able to register. I honestly heard God speak to me, saying I have you. I mean I know that I'm Gods child and that I believe he can do anything, above and beyond my thoughts. And to take it a step further, I've actually tried him and seen him work things out. However, at times I still have shaky faith that appears to be smaller than a mustard seed (have you actually seen how small they are).

I began to vent with my co-worker about my disdain with the situation and started thinking about things I'd rather be doing. Again I heard God's voice speaking to me saying, do it. What I was speaking about is having more of a creative outlet. The 40 makes me feel sooo boxed in. I feel like a gifted child that acts out, out of boredom. It is sooo hard doing something you don't enjoy, over and over and over. I know that there is more of me that needs to be shared. I am not doing nor living up to  my true capacity. I just know that God has something bigger for me to do... I can feel it.

Well just when you thought thats it, my co-worker comes and tells me that my tire was low. I really began to freak out. I admit I dated a mechanic for a while and can not change the fuse, let alone, the tire. Once I got outside I noticed that the tire wasn't just low, it was darn near flat. Like really flat. This was the time that I wished I had a boyfriend *sigh*. Luckily my co-workers were there to assist. Although my spare was put on, I was still freaking about having to purchase a tire (definitely not in my first-of-the-month-rent-is-due budget). My coworker followed me to the gas station and put air in my spare tire (yes that was low too). Luckily, I saw that the service center was still open, so I went over to see if I could get it plugged. After finding out I could get the tire plugged, I told my co-worker and thanked him. This time I could hear my grandma say God always has a ram in the bush. I found out that the plug would only be $22.10 (score). The mechanic was very helpful and had a great personality. It also didn't hurt that he was easy on the eye. After I headed to Starbucks and downed my latte he was finished. He put my spare back in my car and even threw away this box for me (no I'm not building a clubhouse). I walked to the register to pay and he simply said don't worry about it. Again, I could hear God reassuring me that if I relinquish control and let Him do what He can do, then everything will work out for my good.

If that were the end of my day and the end of my unearned Grace, it would have been enough. But yet again God showed me favor. I've been wanting new bed linen and right as I was heading to pay for it an employee handed me a survey which gave me 10% off.

The moral of my story is that there were blessings bestowed upon me today. Really, it was just free, undeserved Grace. But at the same time God assured me at the same time that if I trust in Him and lean not to my own understanding He'll work everything out in His timing. I felt the need to share this because this past weekend I felt very discouraged. Wondering when it would be my turn to get ahead. Basically, just having a big ole woe-is-me pity party. Today was definitely a day of Blessed Assurance (I left a few good things out). As the songwriter says:

This is my story, this is my song praising my Savior all the day long.  


BeULuv said...

Great testimony of Gods goodness. Stay blessed.

Kenzie Leigh said...

awesome post..i def been wehere you were and i feel like we all have times when our faith is being tested and it always seems so mcuh easier to have negative thoughts we just have to remember that God is always by our side :)

Anonymous said...

Love this Kristin, even though I know the story! *smile* I honestly have to say this post hit the nail on the head and I 100% agree that you and I both need will receive our victory. *smooches*

Mannas-Trail said...

Just continue to share your testimonies and be obedient in trusting him....he is definitely faithful even when we think he is not & even more when we aren't deserving....you be blessed