Am I THAT chick before THE chick?

So last night I found out that Mr. Y is getting married and I actually found out by DoubleTrouble (I’ll tell ya about him later). I don’t know how I felt about it, but in retrospect I was getting signs all along that maybe that was about to happen. Once again I don’t know how I feel. I had that feeling like I wanted to cry or make myself cry but really why? I think that the thing that got to me the most is that I feel like that chick your with before the chick that you end up marrying. Yep that really got to me. If you read my tis the season post then you probably pick up that I know/knew Mr. Y isn’t for me but damn, what/who is?

It is really funny how I’m beginning to open up about my personal experiences especially relationships. I started this blog as a way to cope with moving to a different city and it became an outlet of some sort to me. But really I’m very private, especially when it comes to relationships. And when it comes to Mr. Y, he’s totally off subject. Even when I found out last night I was reluctant to even mention it to my BFF. I ended up text’n her and she asked if I wanted to talk (that’s major because she has a newborn and we don’t have weekly phone dates anymore). Of course I said no and pushed my feelings to the area where it will only be brought up if I do it (hint, hint… don’t-ask-won’t-tell).

So you may be assuming that I'm making a big deal and this may be the first time that its happened. But no, case in point:
 
- Mr. YY- started dating a chick and became engaged to her
-Boy Next Door- got this chick preggars (after we made a 'no pregnancy' pact, maybe lame), sometime after the baby they got married 
I kinda just ended there but I could go on, LoL!!!

My friend put it into perspective tonight as I was telling her. I basically prepped him and he married the
next chick. But then again, did I really prep him? After telling my cousin, it became more evident and clear. He was not the one for me and I am not the one for him. If we just 'kicked' it in October and now he's engaged I think its safe to assume that he cheated on his fiance. And really, would I want to be with a guy, marry him (he's cheated and will continue to cheat) for the sake of saying I'm married. No deal. I just think the part that gets to me is not being given the chance.  Or asked the question. Or been held in that regard of love. *sigh*
 
I have no clue who the chick is, what she looks like nothing; and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not into the let-me-see-what-she-looks-like-I-look-better. No need to compare or anything because to me I'm ONLY in competition with myself and that's in regard to ANY chick. Funny thing is, out of all my ex's that have done me wrong I continue to pray for them. My prayer is that they can be the man God wants them to be. Honestly,every guy that has done me wrong has come back and apologized, and I'm certain he won't be different (just not sure when, LoL). Looking at how things that have happened to and for me, I know that whatever God has for me. it's for me. I'll get what's suppossed to be mine exactly when He's ready. So maybe, its not me actually prepping dudes to marry another; but God prepping me for the type of love he speaks about in 1 Corinthians. #Realtalk I do have a lot to learn in regard to those verses especially patience!!!

52 Week Savings Update 3

Ok, ok, let me be the first to admit... I am SUCKING at this (please insert sad face and booing noises). I think the main thing is,  I HATE having cash around me. The goal of my co-workers and I were to put the money that we saved by the second week in Jan. in an account <- let's just say that didn't happen.

Funny thing is... I'm some of my co-workers accountability partner in regard to working out however I need you all to hold me accountable in this regard. Starting next Monday I am going to get back on track and have the total amount that I'm suppose to save available. Actually, I don't even have the total amount we should have collected. That last statement was very sad, but please believe that I will get it together because I have faith as well as a goal to get a new Mac after the savings plan. I will definitely be back to tell you the total amount of money we should have. More than likely I'll edit below in a different color. If any of you are interested in the spreadsheet, please leave your e-mail and I'll get that sent to you.  The only way that we're going to do this is together sooo.... HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE. You can reach me here, by e-mail, or via twitter.

I Nailed It

If you know me you'd know I hate polishing my nails. I hate when you smudge your nails right after you've painted them. I hate when they start to chip and I don't know how women find the time to do them. So for the past season I've been painting my nails. The funny thing is I ALWAYS buy polish but hardly ever use it. The reason for my post today is because I actually tried a new nail product and a few of you Youtubers were interested. I found this product as I stalking Youtube and was excited to try it. Just to show  you guy my nails

I tried this out on Friday and although I'm right handed, my left hand turned out a lot better. I will say that after the first time using the product I know what not to do now. Do not look too closely because you will see where I had issues applying. I say for $8 and a 3 step process it totally beats out real minx!!! So what did I actually use you're thinking...

I bet you thought it was Minx... gotcha!!! I used regular ole trusty Sally Hansen. The product is Salon Effects and you actually get a salon effect. The design that I chose was Houndstooth but Walmart has plenty to choose from. I think I won't to try the leopard print, lace, and the glitter options. As I mentioned earlier it was pretty easy to apply. All I did was shaped my nails with the with the file that's provided in the box (the hot pink side). Afterward, I pushed my cuticles back. And next I smoothed my nail surface with the grey side. And swiped my nail with nail polish remover, then applied the houndstooth strip. After applying you shape the remainder polish of with the light pink side. I know you're thinking polish... yes the strips are actual polish. I've only had the polish on for 2 days now and I think the true test of time will happen tonight when I wash my hair. 

I can feel a bit of the top portion pulling a bit, but its because I put bigger strips on my teeny nails.

I can't lie I was feeling myself a bit, so I decided to do my toes too, LoL!!!

 

So I put the houndstooth on my big toe and painted the rest fuchsia. Just in case you're wondering there were extra strips in the box <- I'm not sure how many but I used 2 additional on my toes and gave one to my cousin. All in all you guys should try the product too and let me know what you think. 

Its what's on the inside that counts, right?

Ok, I admit, I can be a little vain at times. I find myself purchasing things because of what the package looks like and not actual content. Of course good advertisers know exactly what their doing to make their product sell. So since I had a little time to waste, I stopped into a grocery store just to.... waste time lol. I have a thing for grocery stores ever since Super Market Sweep (I sooo wanted to go on that show as a child), I digress. But usually I'll look on every isle cause you just never know what you'll find.

This particular day I decided to venture through the bath/make-up/beauty isles. And one particular box caught my eye. Moxie, the bougie, alter-ego, version of an Always panty liner.

So you know the color pink is what drew me in and made me reach for the box. As I got a closer look I noticed that there was a bow. OMG, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE bows. I guess 'scanty' refers to the panty liners being small and slim. As I turned the box over I noticed that the box also included a metal tin.

There's a little cut out portion that allows you to see the metal tin. But if you're wondering, here's a closer look.

I'm not sure of the actual measurements but this cute tin is very discreet. So the front basically looks just like the packaging that caught my eye. Because of that I decided to give you an additional view.

The back is black and I totally LOVE the color scheme that the company chose. Also if you take a closer look, you can see that the tin itself is recyclable #bonuspoints. In addition to what was in the box this tin also contains 10 panty liners. The company also reminds you of their website www.moxieproducts.co.uk
Once again, what a way to market!!!

I've been showing you everything about the outside packaging and almost forgot about what's on the inside. What's on the inside is really what counts right? LoL, anyways the actual pad itself has a bow line. So you know that when I opened it I almost lost it. I love, love, love bows. If you're a subscriber to my youtube channel then you've heard of the many stories/ideology  of bows!!!

Unfortunately, nothing in life is free and everything usually comes with a price. Let's just say I won't be getting these again. But then again the other items are package equally as cute if not cuter. This companies' site is the ultimate girly-girl site of all things period (get it, LoL). Not only are there panty liners but they also have pads and tampons. I've only seen the collection in Harris Teeter, but after checking the site, they have a few more locations outside of the web. Any new cute products you've tried?

Love Is You

I have a confession. I LOVE, LOVE. Everything about it is amazing. I know in one of my recent post I wrote about taking a sabbatical from dating which is what I did, or so I thought. Anyways to make a long story short a college friend of mine and I began chatting by FB and then by phone. I thought and still think that dude is kool. We have a lot in common and I'm certain that we're compatible. However after a while the Representative goes a way and the true person becomes visible. I'm actually not on here to write about him nor that situation, because I'm a person that has a lot and have loss a lot so that situation doesn't even make it on my top 20 of life issues #realtalk. Anyways one thing that I told myself after I knew it was over for me and Mr. Y, is that I won't make the same mistakes the second time around. I'm a realist and I can definitely acknowledge that I had a part in the demise of our relationship.

What I won't do is feed into anyone's unnecessary drama #atall. I also won't allow anyone to push their negative feelings/energy off on me. If you need a stepping stool you betta go to Target. I'm not gonna feel like you're doing me a favor by being/talking to me. And lastly, I won't go into tit-for-tat-mode.   Cause honestly, I know I go HARD in the mudda *** paint. My mouth is real slick and I think fast so I ALWAYS have a come back!!! *Off my tangent now*

The pic of my tat is a representation of what I'm to be. It says Love Is You. I got it as a reminder that love begins within, there isn't anyway to express it, without first having it.   You ALWAYS have to be that person that exudes love, you never know if you'll meet someone that has never experienced love. Love is the GREATEST commandment that God gave to us, yet we take it for granted and use irresponsibly all too often. Although I'm not in love, I can't wait for that butterflies-in-the-stomach, you-hang-up-no-you-hang-up-on-3-hang-up, what-if-he's-the-one feeling *sigh*!!!

However, even if I NEVER fall in love, I'll continue to let others see the love within me. I'll definitely be that chick that you'll always remember. And if I ever get married, I definitely want l Corinthians 14: 4-7, 13 to be plastered everywhere as a daily affirmation to remind us that love stays strong when the fight gets old.

What Time Is It? Game Time

So I'm sure all of Urban America was in place ready for The Game to return back on the air. I know I was. Now I'm not one of those people that jumped on the bandwagon when the reruns started showing, I've been watching since day 1!!!

I had/have sooo many expectations for this show. I've waited, and waited, and waited. I'm a little nervous because in a perfect world (that we don't live in) I'd love to see Melanie and Derwin live happily ever after.  I wonder which direction Tasha Mack's role will spiral into because after while, your age catches up with you and you just-have-to-be-old. I need to see how Malik will handle his new found position as a underdog. Jason, hmmnnn, eh, not so much. I believe that he'll continue to be an a**. Kelly, hmnnnnn, eh, not so much either. OAN- where the heck did they get that daughter

So what are your expectations (if any) for the show? After the 3rd episode I'm just not sure. I'm almost flirting with the idea that we should have left well enough, alone. 

One is The Magic Number

So Today's date is January 1st, 2011 AKA 1-11-11. So basically 1 is the magic number. 1 is the root number, what started it all in biblical terms, the Alpa. In a fairy tale its known as the beginning. I actually saw this cute little number game on someone's Facebook.

So what you do is:
-Take the last two digits of the year you were born (1982)
-Take your age (28)
-Take the #1

Looks a lil something like this

82
28
+1
___
111

Now you can try it, cause you'll ALWAYS get the number 1.

Remember One is The Magic Number...

A Hustling Spirit

So as some of you know I have a part time job. I definitely need it since the cost of living in North Va. is stupid crazy!!! I would be able to pay all of my bills and have a lil extra but definitely wouldn't be able to broadcast my hauls!!! Long story short, I had a meeting at my part time job today only to find out it's closing on the 23rd. I actually knew this before it was confirmed but really hearing it from the companys' management really set the wheels spending in my mind. It wasn't actually said that I was losing my job because some people will be retained. However, you don't wait for the fire to spread when you can put it out, right? So ya know what your girl is doing. Exactly, looking for another gig.

Everytime I think about part time employment I have a few ways in which I look at it.

*Location- ideally, I'd like the job to be close to my full time job. That way its not hard to commute after work. With that being said I'm looking in the North Va. area (Reston, Tysons, Alexandria, Fairfax).

*Work Load- definitely have to keep in mind that I already have a full-time position. With that being said I'm not looking for something too strenous. It also has to be something that I like doing with a product that I actually believe in. If possible I'd like to have a set schedule. #Rant I HATE when a job ask for you availiability and then schedule you outside of that time frame.

*Discount- am I going to be able to help the company out and invest back into the company (you like how I put that). Gotta LOVE a discount!!!

So with that being said that is the criteria in which I'll accept a position.

As my Grandma would say you gotta have some iron in the fore so there are a few things that I hope to accomplish in the next few months that I'd like to be lucrative.

With that being said the fuel that ignites my hustling spirit is faith. I believe that I can and will have anything that I ask for. However, faith without works is dead, so I know I have to do what I have to do to get/have what I want/need.

Any of my readers with a hustling spirit? Ciao, gotta get back to applying.

52 Week Savings Update 2

Ok, I admit I slipped a bit with my savings #dontjudgeme. I had to pay for some Avon which was actually a Christmas gift and my savings was the only cash I had on hand. However, we're on week 8 and we should have a total of $36. I am sooo happy that I have my accountability partner (if you don't have one get one) to ask if I put my money. I suspect that things will get easier for us once we open up the joint bank account. Well at least for me because I won't just have cash laying around that I can get to easily. I'm determined to make it to my 52 weeks with ALL of my cash, momma needs a brand new MAC (desk top please). How have you guys been holding up?

You all should have $98 today

Tis the Season (to let go)

It's very rare that I write about relationships on my blog... if ever. I know I may seem like an open book since I blog and make YouTube videos. In retrospect, if you follow me on twitter then I'm a bit open when it comes to dating and the like.

As of now... I've given up dating *sigh*. Yep, no lie. I'm even considering being celibate for the entire 2011. Let's just say... guys get on my nerves!!! However, that doesn't mean that I'm turning to women LoL!!! Since I've been kinda open on twitter I may as well give a thorough recap of my 2010 dating in regard to dating. Here goes...

*High School Musical*

This dude I actually have much LOVE for and decided to give it another try. However, he's in the music industry and I feel like the him I used to know wasn't anymore. I'm definitely sure he could say the same. This 'situation' helped me to fully understand why I prefer not to date guys with a child/children (I'll go into that another day). DISCLAIMER- God has a sense of humor and I just may end up with someone who has a child/children (side eye). I digressed. Long story short, I think he was/is used to chick's flocking to him cause they think his money is long. For me, there was attraction, but just not all the way nor all the time. At the end he stated that I placed him in 'the friend zone' and that's not where he wanted to be. SN: blog about 'friend zone' will be posted soon. Anyways, since he and I have been connected for over 10 years, I know our cycle (so does he). Basically, we stopped talking, he was angry... I wasn't (remember I'm cognitive of the cycle). We recently met up at an event. Who knows what the future holds but right now ummmnn... I'mma have to pass #DUECES

*Booskie (I HATE that word and can't believe I'm using it)*

Met dude on a review site (if you're reading, hi). It's funny how God places people in your life at exactly the right time. I had recently stopped talking to Mr. Y (you'll learn of him later) and really didn't want to be alone for V-day. Booskie actually asked me out for V-day and we had a good time. He also had a child, but this was new and I knew nothing would come from it sooo it didn't matter. We only went out that one time because he had a terrible case of Bitchassness and a little controlling (he's not American, so I think his culture/upbringing played a part). He and I IM from time to time but... it's nothing and want be anything #DUECES

*Mr. YY*

This dude was my EVERYTHING in college and I thought we'd be together forever, however, life happened and that wasn't the case. On Thanksgiving last year I got a little liquid courage and sent him a message on FB. Ever since we'd broken up I always dreamt about him. I have no clue why because I was in a relationship; but I felt something wasn't right with him. The dreams were random in content yet frequent. We chatted a bit and he told me some things he'd never expressed about me as well as his 'rocky' relationship. However, that 'situation' was over before Christmas. The reason why he's on this list here is because he contacted me this year and we started chatting it up again and chilling on Skype. We planned to meet up but things didn't g as planned. That was actually kool because once again, he wasn't the person that I used to love and I'm sure I wasn't neither. When I see his name and number in my phone I shake my head. I can't lie, it felt real good to know that I had the upper hand in the situation; but it really was a been-there-done-that type of situation. If anything would have popped off, it would have only been about 3 letters and that's it (real talk). Basically... #DUECES

*Caucasian Persuasion*

New dude in town. We met because of business. We went out but I wasn't really attracted... too short. However, he was/is very nice and has awesome goals for his life. He ultimately wanted to be a provider for his family and he worked hard. But he wasn't for me... #DUECES

* Mr. Y*

He's probably the real reason I haven't been in a relationship. I've allowed him to come and go as if I'm running a 24 hour diner with a revolving door. But as the saying goes... when you learn better, you do better. Since I've learned, we'll end the piece on his a** right now. He deserves no words, no emotions, and definitely no shoulda-woulda-coulda... #DUECES

*Smoke One*

First dude I was crushing at the 40. Some kinda way we were at a party and was able to talk and eventually chill. Dude had recently ended a long-term relationship. Although he engaged in the medicinal, I was FN attracted to his mind. Yes, even my vain a** can recognize real. Conversation was deep on another level. Thinking about his kisses are surreal (TMI). Anyways, he was fresh out of his relationship so I know how that goes... I-hate-you-but-I-love-you.I guess timing is everything. We don't speak or anything in passing (sigh). I'm still VERY attracted to him but oh well... #DUECES

By this point (mid-year), I kinda chilled but really wanted to get back on the dating scene... so I decided to join match.com. At first I battled with myself because I didn't want to pay. The ego in me was like 'you ain't hard up for no dude to pay $34 a month' (LoL). I wanted to date and wasn't actually doing so by sitting in the house and not out meeting people, sooo... why not.

*Umbrella*

This was the first guy I met on match. He has his stuff together and had a good idea on how women should be treated and how respect should be shown in a relationship. He also had a child in another state but definitely didn't have baby moma drama. We went out a lot... to the point where I actually paid once (Mr. Y really had we spoiled in that regard). Unfortunately, I started to see a lil Bitchassness in him too. He turned things into issues and tried to 'play' on my words. He may have also had a complex with a woman having her sh*t together and not having to ask /depend on the dude she's chilling with. All we did was date and I had to hit him with my classic move... stop calling. I will say out of all the guys (besides Smoke One) he had the best outlook on what a real relationship should consist of (just not sure if he'd put into practice all the way).On a vain note, I couldn't get over the fact that he spoke without opening his mouth. It was like his teeth were cemented together. So you know there wasn't a kiss in sight!!! Funny thing is... dude text'd me trying to get back in last week. All I could think was... #DUECES

*Classified*

Dude and I had one thing in common and I really think it was one thing; we are from the South. He made several dumb comments, to even think he had a high ranking position. Dude said he hadn't had a girlfriend in 10 years. Puzzling thing was, we were both 28. Any chick that has a 10% hope of getting married knows that sh*t ain't right. We went out and he obviously lied on his profile. Dude was shorter than me, granted I had on heels, but damn!!! If you know me you'd know I'd LOVE for my guys to have football bodies. Tall & Thick, LoL. Let's just say... he wasn't any of that. He also had the Napoleon complex. He picked me up when he hugged me and I HATE being picked up. I guess he felt he should have done that since I ended our 1st and only date with 'thanks shawty'. That date showed that it was over for me, but he kept and continues to try to go out with me (he text'd last week). I'll be more mature the next time he text's and respond with... #DUECES

*Sweet Dreams, Beautiful Nightmare*

Thought this dude may have been the one I'd get into a relationship with. He was a year older, no kids, govt. job, family oriented, attended church (so I thought). The only dude besides Mr.Y to hit a home run LoL. Let's just say dude was a classic case of 'a moma's boy, woe is me, and I used to'. He didn't have his priorities together at all. There were things that I noticed but overlooked because I really wanted to be over Mr.Y. Plus, my friends thought I was too critical sooo... I gave him a chance or chances LoL. This dude had the worse case of Bitchassness and was basically drunk off breast milk, because little did he know... I was not that chick. He got an attitude with me for the last time and I at that point, I mean instantly, it was o-v-e-r. He tried... wanted to talk, go out to eat, take me to the OMG tour, but sh*t he lost one!!! Shirt and I was out last week and who comes in the restaurant with a chick. No biggie for me cause I was done. Needless to say we just laughed at them. He actually came to the table to explain that she was just a friend. I was like that's kool. He was like 'you just don't care' and actually... I didn't #DUECES

*Concrete Jungle A.K.A My #1 Fan B.K.A Liar Liar*

Many of you guys wanted to know about him because I referred to him plenty of times on my YouTube channel. Out of all of the guys this year I thought I could relate to him the most. Not 100% sure that he should be on the list since we didn't actually date per se... but he's definitely relevant. We actually met 3 years ago, not sure why he remained in the 'friend zone' because we were very compatible. Long story short, he got a FB at the start of the year and I was like FB ruins relationships. I went to his page and continued to see this chick, I didn't question her until much later. When I did, there was no answer; sometimes the silence lets you know. Needless to say he was talking to this chick that lived out my way, even coming to see the chick and not me (yep that's right). We spoke 2 weeks ago and he was straight lying for 3 years over some stupid sh*t. I can't lie... I was, am, and is beyond hurt. I'm at a place of no return. I lost ALL respect as a person for him (really on some friend sh*t). I am sooo happy that what goes around comes around, and I know he'll get his. I can't lie I'm secretly laughing on the inside (insert Austin Powers laugh). Dude actually text'd me today cause he was the one that put me on to Macy's. I replied 'that's nice, lose my number'. If you're reading this... here's a big F U #DUECES

Lessons Learned in A Minor

*After people show you who they are (character wise) 2 and 3 times, then let that sh*t go!!!

*Some people along with their memories, should remain in the past. They're not in your future for a reason!!!

*Dating guys from different countries doesn't work for me #justsayn!!!

*Don't date anyone from the 40... EVER!!!